


Genius

by respoftw



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, M/M, Pre-Slash, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 03:05:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7296976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In retrospect, John should have known that something was wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Genius

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, is 12 years too late for an episode tag? I'm sure plenty people before me have had this idea but it was eating my brain so I had to get it out there.

In retrospect, John should have known that something was wrong.

Rodney was part of his team and it was his job to look out for his team, to know what was going on with them, to know if they were compromised in any way. More than that though, Rodney was - as unbelievable as he sometimes found it - his friend. Probably his best friend on Atlantis and wasn't that a kick in the teeth. Hell, if John were being truthful with himself - something he very rarely was, at least when it came to this - Rodney was someone that he wanted to be _more_ than friends with. Rodney was someone he wanted. John had been in the military for long enough that denying himself what he truly wanted was second nature now. But, really, no matter which way he looked at it, he should have known.

The signs were there, an entire list of symptoms that John had ignored.

The way Rodney withdrew from almost everyone, the way he holed himself up in his labs, not even leaving for meals - well, it's not like he had never done that before. Rodney was a busy man and in the wake of the storm, Atlantis needed him more than ever.

The way Rodney took to wearing his jacket everywhere he went. John had noticed that; had noticed it mostly because he had always liked the way Rodney's arms looked when they were bare a little too much. John had thought he understood that one, had thought that Rodney was hiding the healing cut on his arm, the one that Kolya and his goons had made.

He didn't know how right he was.

Most damning of all, was the way that Rodney avoided the infirmary. Even when he had been on the receiving end of a vicious backhander on PX-437, Rodney had barely let Carson examine him. Rodney, the man who had visited the infirmary for a hangnail on more than one occasion had waved medical attention off. John, God help him, had thought that maybe Rodney was finally getting over his hypochondria.

He should have known.

What finally tipped John off that something was very, very wrong were the words of the village elders on MT-657. Stories of Rodney's prowess were legendary, they said. Of course they would happy to trade with the Lanteans if only they could benefit from some of Dr McKay's genius themselves.

John had been standing right next to Rodney when it happened but, even if he had been on the other side of the village there's no way he would have missed the full body flinch as he heard that word.

 _Genius_.

Rodney tried to cover it up, his body immediately relaxing and his mouth running a mile a minute about what improvements he could make to their hydro works and how lucky they were to benefit from his skills.

It was a good act, John thought. Certainly, Teyla and Ford seemed to be falling for it but John saw through it, he saw the line of tension still coiled tight around Rodney's muscles, he noticed the way Rodney's bragging lacked its usual glee.

He noticed that Rodney very carefully avoided using the one descriptor that had caused the reaction in the first place.

Genius.

John had been aware from the moment that he met Rodney that the man was a genius. Mainly because the man himself had saw fit to tell him that very fact within fifteen minutes of their first meeting. Rodney's sense of self-worth had often bordered on arrogant (hell, sometimes it crossed the line and left arrogant so far behind that it was a speck on the horizon) but John had never doubted that what Rodney told him was true.

He _was_ a genius. An actual certified genius and while that label could be applied to almost every member of the science team on Atlantis, Rodney's own particular brand of genius outshone the rest.

When he really thought about it, John realised that he hadn't heard Rodney call himself a genius since...since the siege.

That realisation, coupled with the fact that Rodney's hand kept unconsciously drifting to cover his right arm, to the exact spot that he had worn that ridiculous, sloppy bandage, finally made John realise that something was very wrong.

* * *

 

"Hey, Carson?" John kicked his heels as he settled on the infirmary bed for his regular, post-mission check up. Rodney had blustered his way through his own, picking at Carson until the Scot snapped and sent him off after barely giving him a once over. John wondered how long Rodney had been perfecting that routine but at least it meant that he could ask his question now rather than circling back to the infirmary later.

"Yes, Major?"

"How's McKay's arm doing?"

Carson frowned at him. "What do you mean, laddie?"

"His arm," John hissed as Carson drew some blood, "the one that got hurt during the siege. It healing ok?"

Carson passed him a cotton ball to hold against his arm. "I'm assuming so, Major. To be honest, I didnae even treat it. Rodney insisted it was just a scratch. Why? Is there something the matter?"

"Nah, Doc," John shook his head and hopped off the bed. "He was just complaining about it on this mission. Probably just making a mountain out of a molehill, you know what McKay's like."

Carson laughed and John tried very hard not to punch him. "I know very well, Major. Well, that's me done with you, enjoy your evening."

"Will do, Doc."

John left the infirmary and headed straight for Rodney's room.

Something was very, very wrong.

* * *

 

"Open up, Rodney. I know you're in there." John banged impatiently on Rodney's door.

"I'm coming, hold your horses," Rodney's voice yelled through the door and John stepped back, psyching himself up for what he was about to do.

"What?!" Rodney snapped as he opened the door.

John looked at him, taking in the soft sleep pants and the rumpled hair and he would have felt guilty had it not been for the incongruous addition of his uniform jacket. Taking a deep breath, John forced himself in the room and pushed Rodney back against the wall, his hand grasping a firm hold on Rodney's right arm.

"What are you doing?" Rodney cried out in alarm, the colour draining from his face.

John raised his eyes to look at Rodney. Rodney's eyes were clear blue and wide with fear and whatever he saw in John's own eyes clued him in on what was about to happen.

"No, John, please, don't."

John swallowed down his revulsion at manhandling Rodney like this and did what he came here to do, pinning Rodney securely against the wall and pushing up the sleeves of his jacket to reveal the pristine white of a bandage.

"It's been a month, Rodney," he said, his voice sounding cold to his own ears. "Why are you still wearing this?"

Rodney used John's distraction to push him off, angrily rolling down his sleeve. "It's precautionary, Major. You know me, I wouldn't want it get infected."

"Cut the bull, Rodney."

Rodney gaped at him, his mouth opening and closing like a fish.

"Unless you want me to radio Carson and tell him to bring 10cc of something that will sink you like a stone, you'll show me what the hell Kolya did to your arm."

John watched Rodney's face flicker from anger to resentment to fear to resignation.

"Fine, Major." Rodney stripped his jacket off wearily. "You want to see? You want to see what made me give up Atlantis?" His eyes didn't stray from John's once as he violently ripped off the inexpertly applied bandage,thrusting his arm towards John. "Well, have a good look, Major. Happy now?"

Looking at the mess of Rodney's arm, John didn't think he'd ever be happy again. Not while Kolya lived, anyway.

He closed his eyes for a brief moment but it didn't make a difference. The sight that greeted him when he looked again was still the same.

Rodney faltered under his gaze, stepping back and moving his arm, to hide it, to cover it. John stopped him. He didn't grip this time, instead he gently placed his hand on Rodney's arm and guided it toward him, his eyes sweeping over the fading redness of the scars. John knew scars, it was hard not to when you'd seen as much combat as he had, and he knew just from looking that while these might fade, they would never truly disappear and his heart ached for Rodney.

Rodney wasn't looking at his arm, his eyes were very carefully trained on John's face, and when that grew too uncomfortable, he moved them to a spot two inches above John's left ear.

The cuts didn't need to be bandaged anymore, they were well past the stage where any infection could set in and John knew, with certainty, that the only reason that Rodney still covered them was that he couldn't bear to look at them.

John understood that.

God, he wished he didn't.

John tore his gaze away from the scars, meeting Rodney's eyes.

"I don't want your pity," Rodney snapped, his voice suspiciously thick sounding. He started to pull his arm from John's grasp and John tightened his grip, not wanting to let go.

"Let me go, Major," Rodney pleaded and oh god, how had John not seen how broken he was, how much he needed help.

John shook his head. "I can't do that, Rodney. Not now, not ever."

"Major, I..."

"I've got you, Rodney."

Rodney shuddered as John lowered his head and brought his lips down to meet the goose-pimpled skin of Rodney's arm. He kissed his way across clear, unmarked skin and heard the hitch in Rodney's breath as he reached the curve of the G- shaped scar.

The hitching breath quickly turned to muffled sobs as John kissed his way across all six letters carved into Rodney's arms. The six letters that he would forever wear as a brand, a mocking reminder. John wanted to reclaim them, to make them something precious and cherished.

 _Genius_.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on [tumblr](http://buffycuddlespigs.tumblr.com/ask) if you want to!


End file.
